SAN FRANCISCO - Crystal meth has a great deal of negative effects on humans. Usage by claymation characters, however, was thought to be safe. That all changed when clay icon Gumby, a known fan of the drug, was found twitching in a street gutter yesterday, foaming at the mouth. The most notable changes were that his green skin turned purple and his normally flexible limbs were stiff and ready to break off.

"The truth is that methamphetamines and arts-and-crafts-based nervous systems don't mix," said claymation expert Howard Fogerty. "People once thought Gumby was less susceptible to the negative effects, but that's just not true."

Added Fogerty: "Damn Blockheads."

It is widely believed that the troublemaking pair known as the blockheads introduced Gumby to crystal meth before "just say no" programs and the like were developed. The blockheads died in 2003 in a silo explosion while trying to steal livestock in North Dakota.

Gumby, now confined to a wheelchair due to his lowered felxibility, is currently undergoing rehabilitation programs at the University of San Francicsco, although doctors are wondering if he is beyond hope.

"I hope he'll be okay," said Gumby's horse Pokey, as he glanced at his LSD supply on the nearby counter. "Otherwise, I'll have to go back to licking the funny stamps the blockheads gave me to end my misery."